3 Things You Must Do to Be Happy

To be happy you must-

It turns out that the key to happiness is very simple.

But it’s not easy.

I’m going through a period of huge transformation, and it’s really tough. I have been stumbling along the way, but with the best support team in place, I have felt encouraged.

I saw this quote somewhere and resonated deeply with it.

 

Letting go is a huge challenge for most of us. Letting go of toxic people, limiting beliefs, and situations that no longer serve you,  all have the great potential to make room for what you desire most in your life.

PROOF:

I had to let go of my job in non-profit so I could:

  1. Empower people to love their bodies and find deep self-love;
  2. Teach kids about civic and social responsibility through art;
  3. Use improv to help children become better citizens;
  4. Partner with people to help them achieve transformation through an exploration of their values and deepest desires; 
  5. Encourage people to become more self-confident through facilitated improvisation games; and
  6. Be a mother.

As far as I know, this is what I am meant to do in the world. I know that when I finally made the decision to leave, opportunities began coming my way out of seemingly nowhere.

What I know to be true is that it took me letting go of what was gone, to be ready for what was to come next. And I was grateful for what remained when I left my job:  great memories, new tools and skills, and amazing friendships!

There’s no big secret here–I simply made space for all the things I longed for.

And now I look forward to what else is coming next. Whether it’s a lesson I need to learn, meeting a big goal, or stopping to celebrate my successes, it’s all possible because I let go.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am working hard for this. To whom much is given, much is required. But my Black ass is in alignment with Universe! 

No time for dress rehearsals, folks. This is it. And remember, tomorrow is not promised to any of us.

This journey requires a bit of courage, a lot of commitment, and the right support.

Never give up!xo

 

 

The Only Resolution You Need For 2017

The only resolution you need for 2017 is to love more. That’s it. It’s simple and we can all do it. I promise!

Love More Resolution

The easiest way for me to think about loving, is to define the opposites of love, and they are numerous. My list below is just a beginning.

The opposites of love are:

  • fear,
  • hate,
  • self-doubt,
  • judgment,
  • apathy,
  • jealousy,
  • contempt, and
  • resentment

As you can see, the only resolution you need for 2017 is to love more. Love requires you to trust that you are enough, you have enough, and you do enough. While it’s not always easy, it can be done. So, when you are not coming from a place of love, you are probably in some form or fear.

Deciding that you want to love more calls on you to practice — a lot. Being in fear is the default for many of us.  So, if we can work toward making love the default, we’re in for a wonderful ride.

Practical ways to implement your resolution:

  • Be a kinder, gentler driver
  • Smile at a stranger just because
  • Pay it forward any way you want (buy coffee for the person behind you in line at Starbucks)
  • Be genuinely happy for the success of others
  • Trust in your talents and abilities
  • Forgive someone
  • Write a list of 10 things you’re grateful for each day
  • Show empathy even when your reflexes want you to do otherwise
  • Give lots of hugs to the people in your life
  • Say “I love you” at least once a day, even if it’s to yourself

In conclusion, I hope you will take steps each day to ground yourself in love as you keep your resolution. Let me know what your resolutions are for 2017!

Wishing you a wonderful 2017, filled with love, light and passion!

P.S. Stay tuned for some exciting new ventures I have planned for this year!

 

You are enough, You have enough, You do enough.

You are enough,you have enough,you do enough

I’ll keep this brief.

We are constantly told that we aren’t doing enough — that we should achieve more, want more, be more, get more. The truth is, you have everything you need. You are everything you need. You are doing your best right now.

So print this image out and put it where you can see it everyday as a reminder of your enoughness!

xo

 

 

Gratitude Is The Best Medicine

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I wish my life were different — quieter, simpler, more peaceful. I often go on these jags where I become obsessed with moving to the countryside and living in a small house with just the basics. In my imagination it seems like the ideal life. But the reality is that it’s not realistic for me, or for most people, I suspect.

So what do you do when you just feel like shit is weighing you down?

Find gratitude. Find it in all areas of your life, and it will totally shift the way you think about your present situation. Find the time for gratitude everyday!

body  positive affirmations

When I start to feel overwhelmed or sorry for myself I have to stop and remember that I am blessed beyond measure.

  1. I have a wonderful husband who adores me.
  2. I own an a lovely house that many people would be happy to have.
  3. I have some money in the bank and there is always food on the table.
  4. I wake up every morning and I can stand up without too much pain.
  5. I can see, hear, smell, touch, and taste easily.
  6. I have friendships with people I truly love and admire.
  7. I have a supportive network of people who are around to support me when I’m feeling bad about my body.
  8. I live in a place where it’s sunny pretty much everyday of the year.
  9. I have a family that is kooky but totally awesome!
  10. I have a job that allows me to earn a pretty decent living.

Take a few minutes in the morning or at night before bed to make a list of 5 or 10 things you’re grateful for. Remember, there is always someone somewhere that wishes they had what you have.

Sending love and light!xo

You Asked, I Answered: 3 Big Reasons I Write My Blog

This post is inspired by one of my followers, Becky B. Thanks for the inspiration!

I began blogging about four and a half years ago under the name Curvy, Sexy, Chic. At the time, I was eager and excited to get my ideas out into the world. I was pissed off that curvy girls were getting little to no attention, and I wanted to be part of the solution. One of my missteps was that I subscribed to the idea that curvy bodies were better than thin bodies. I had no idea that this was exactly the wrong way to go about creating real change, and this type of thinking was harmful for all women. I also wrote about plus fashion and loving yourself, but not with the same unapologetic, in-your-face approach I use today. Still, it was great to be writing. There are many reasons why I write Chronicles of a Mixed Fat Chick. These are just a few:

1I HAVE A GIFT. I haven’t always been able to say that with confidence, but now I believe it’s true. For the most part, when I write, I come alive! I am always eager to ignite something in you so that you begin to have dialogue with yourself and others about issues that I think are relevant and pressing. I can recall being inspired by professors in college who spoke my language and said things in such a way that I had to know more. I was completely engaged and totally on fire! To have a gift and not use it is to sell yourself, and the world, short. And so, I use my gift and am grateful for those who read my shit and either get it, or challenge me. I’m up for all of it!

i have a

2SILENCE IS NOT GOLDEN. I am lucky enough to live in a society that allows free speech. I can pretty much say whatever the fuck I want to say, and not worry that my government is going imprison me. That said, I cannot keep silent. Not when there is injustice and pain and fuckery abounding. For so many years of my life, I was silent. I never said no, and the thought of saying anything that would ruffle feathers was out of the question. I think that years of people pleasing and self-doubt finally caught up with me and I exploded!

I realized it was time to speak my truth without fear of consequence. And as cliche as it sounds, the truth has set me free in so many ways. It has allowed me to appreciate my gifts and to trust my intuition. The gift of my voice has blessed me with all kinds of amazing experiences and people. I think back and wonder who I would be if I had remained safely tucked away in silence, and it’s not a pretty picture. Today, I can say with gusto that I am a funny, kind, intelligent, curious, creative, fat woman of color who loves herself and her life. YAYMEN!!

silenceisnotgoldenwallpaperclip

3

WE NEED EACH OTHER. I am clear that my purpose is to spread love and light. I am clear that my honesty is appealing. I write about uncomfortable shit so that both you AND I can get more comfortable with it. My readers are very much my inspiration. The emails I get from you touch me so deeply and remind me of all the reasons I do this work. Seriously, THANK YOU! When I’m feeling crappy, you lift me up. And when you’re feeling crappy, I try to do the same. We’re basically in an intimate relationship, where we both take risks and hope for the best. And our relationship has been one of the most marvelous of my life. It is because you give, that I find the courage to give. People sometimes tell me that I’m helping to change the world. But I think it’s all of us doing it. We are both ready for the day when our bodies are no longer a question of public opinion and we can make peace with our wrinkles and cellulite. 

together we can make a difference

To answer Becky’s question, “when you started blogging, what were you wanting to accomplish, what are you thinking, and have you accomplished what you set out to do? Has your thought process changed regarding what you want to accomplish with your blog?” 

I think my journey is about being open to experiences and knowing that as I grow and learn, that my thought process will inevitably change. And I try to not judge that. At times I’ve felt I was leaving people behind because my opinions were changing. But I realize that it’s simply part of my own evolution as a writer, an activist, and a human being. Ultimately, what I hope to accomplish is the creation of a space where we can all experience unfettered self-acceptance.

xo

Tiny Houses, Turning 40, & Clearing the Clutter

When I first started writing this post, it was going to be called, “5 Soul Changing Events of 2014.” I started writing it, and it was basically a boring recap of what I’ve already written about this year. And it felt like a major cop-out given that I haven’t written a post in over a month. So, I changed my mind, which happens often, as you know.

boring-screenwriters

I’d rather tell you all about 2015, and what’s to come.

There are a few things that will happen in 2015 for sure. For one, I’ll be turning 40! And I can’t tell you how excited I am about it. My 30’s have been so full of growth and change, I can hardly recognize myself. Getting older has been a wonderful experience for me. I trust my instincts more and care less and less about what others think of me. Talk about a weight (pun intended) off my shoulders.  I’m quite certain that 40 promises to take that self-confidence and carefree attitude to the next level. YAY ME!!

forever 39

As I’ve reminisced over the events of the last year, I realize just how much I miss my creative self. Don’t get me wrong, writing is a wonderfully creative outlet, and I plan to continue doing it well into the future. What I haven’t spent much time doing is cultivating my crafty/DIY side. I have so many projects on my Pinterest boards that are just waiting to come to life. And so, while I don’t really like resolutions per se (they’re way to fraught with pressure and expectation), one of my goals in 2015 is to give myself time to get my hands dirty and start making things again.

repurposed tray

My other obsession has been tiny houses, a movement that has increased in popularity in the last few years. The idea being that you downsize your living quarters to the bare minimum, owning only what you really need and love. Some folks move into places as small as 150 square feet! That’s not something my hubby and I are prepared to do, but we agree it’s time to purge and let go of the stuff that’s bogging us down. Between the two of us, we have more collections than an antique shop. It’s embarrassing to admit, but we have a 5 bedroom house (3 bedrooms are tiny) and every inch is filled to the brim. It’s a bit fucking much. I look forward to being clutter free in 2015!

Clutter-is-a-weight

And finally, I hope to rid myself of virtual clutter in 2015. I’m as addicted to social media as the next gal. And it has taken up so much of my brain space, leaving little room for my own thoughts and feelings to fully develop. I love the connectivity  aspect of social media, but I’m not that interested in watching the latest YouTube video of cats tucking in babies. Yeah, it’s cute. But really, I can’t. I’m done. One way I plan to cut the clutter is to unfollow a lot of Facebook “friends.” I want to know what my close friends and family are up to. I want to see pictures of their kids and their moments of joy. I want to scroll less and live more.

social media clutter

I feel really good about 2015. I anticipate lots of joy and adventure, allowing myself to really be free. My life is so good, and I never want to forget that.

Wishing you and yours the happiest of new year celebrations. May your 2015 be full of hope and possibility!

Fireworks_2

xo

Mercury is in Retrograde — And Just in Time

mercury-retrograde-signHave you been feeling rundown? Yeah, me too. It turns out that Mercury is in retrograde from October 4-25. Which basically means it’s a bad time to make big decisions or take too much on. Almost two weeks ago, I decided I need a break from social media. Keeping up with Facebook, Twitter and Instagram just got to be too much. I was completely sucked in, checking it first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. No wonder I couldn’t sleep. All that information was swirling around in my brain, and getting quiet was impossible.

I’m a big believer in feeding your spirit, but somehow I let all my obligations fill the void of really looking at what’s been going on with me. I’ve felt anxious and fidgety lately. I spend my free time looking for new cities to live in (hello, Portland), or obsessing over my fall capsule wardrobe project. And those things can be fun, in the right context. But not when you’re clearly trying to avoid something important. And for me, it’s my health. My fibromyalgia symptoms have worsened recently, and I haven’t wanted to face it. I’ve taken on way too many commitments, which have been great opportunities for my advocacy work, but bad for my health.

fibromyalgia-cycle

I am exhausted. From the pain. From the lack of energy. From the inability to fully use my body.

Disconnecting from social media was a fairly easy strategy to start with, but I’m going to need to do a lot more than that to get well. I’ve finally made an appointment with a rheumatologist to see what she might offer in terms of answers and potential solutions to my condition. But if I’ve learned anything over the last few years, it’s that I have to advocate for my own health. I have to do the research and be open to trying different modalities for healing. And with Mercury in retrograde this month, what better time to reflect on my life choices and take stock of what is and isn’t working anymore.

take_it_easy_by_ohmybrooke-d4bjxhu

I don’t intend to make any big decisions right now, other than slowing down my pace, and making time for more rest and self-care. That includes things like:

  1. Going to bed earlier
  2. Eating better (gotta check that sugar addiction)
  3. Continuing my yoga practice
  4. Saying “no” more
  5. Meditating

I tend to be a real perfectionist, so I might need add one more thing to that list: Let go of  the idea that I will do these things consistently and perfectly. 

audre lorde quote

I’d like to be blogging more, but if you don’t see a post for a while, just assume I’m sleeping, or reading a book, or cooking a healthy meal for my husband and I.

Until next time,

Pia