No more crossing your legs because you don’t want to take up space. Spread em’ wide and get comfortable in your body. Stand tall and proud. Claim the right to let your ass jiggle and your thighs wiggle!
First things first.Three years ago I could not have imagined writing this. But all my self-lovin’ work has paid off and I can actually see the good in my body now.
When I wear a fabulous, over the top outfit, people pay me compliments, and never mention my size or weight. It’s as though my confidence puts them at ease. And that’s a win for fatties everywhere!
Hanging out with other confident fat chicks is so fun! We get each other’s jokes and share tips on how to prevent chub rub whilst soaking in a hot tub.
Fat chicks give the best hugs. All that soft flesh feels like being in the womb. Seriously.
I take up space. No matter where I am, my body is unapologetically present and proud.
When I’m in yoga class, I love to see the expression of my teacher and other students as my flexible body holds challenging poses. I’m unintentionally teaching women that you can be active at any size.
You’ll never hear me complaining about being on a diet, because duh, I don’t do those anymore.
I use my hard earned confidence to help other women begin to embrace themselves, no matter what size they are.
I send you love, light, and encouragement as you travel the road of self-acceptance!
My last post was about how as women we’ve been taught to make ourselves small and invisible in the world. This post is about how to stop hiding and take up as much space as you fucking well please.
There are many ways to take up space in a patriarchal society. Here are some suggestions:
3. Don’t try to hide your intelligence because your worried people will call you a show off. If others can’t handle it, it’s because they’re insecure. Or stupid. And really, who needs stupid friends?
4..Sit on the train, plane, or bus with multiple bags and take up lots of seats. Only make space for another woman or an elderly person who needs to sit down.
5. Wear whatever the fuck you want. Fuck flattering. You’re gorgeous and a role model for others.
6. Stop dieting. Stop thinking about dieting. Eat what feels good to you and your body. If that means you eat ice cream every night, then so be it!
7.. Don’t tolerate sexual harassment. The next time you get cat called, shout “heel! good boy” at the offending fool.
8.. Encourage your daughters, nieces, and all the young girls in your life to focus on their own interests. Tell them to raise their hands during class and to run for student government. Never scold them with “that’s not ladylike.” Teach the boys in your life to respect girls and women and to make space, not always take space.
9. Revel in your feminine power. Women bring balance into the world. Tap into your inner goddess.
10. Say what’s on your mind, even if it’s hard. Let others be uncomfortable for once. Besides, passive aggression is for douche bags.
11. Love yourself without measure!
What are some other ways that you like to take up space? Leave your suggestions in the comments.
I have the right to take up space. I have the right to spread out and make myself visible. And at 5′-8″ and 230 pounds, you’d think it would be easy.
But it’s not.
Women have been taught to make themselves small and invisible in a myriad of ways. These are just some of the ways in which we are encouraged not to take up space.
I watched this amazing poetry performance by Lily Myers, and it resonated with me very deeply. Let me know what you think.
The next post will be about how you can start taking up as much space as you fucking well please.
How have you been taught not to take up space? Leave your comments below.
Have you been feeling rundown? Yeah, me too. It turns out that Mercury is in retrograde from October 4-25. Which basically means it’s a bad time to make big decisions or take too much on. Almost two weeks ago, I decided I need a break from social media. Keeping up with Facebook, Twitter and Instagram just got to be too much. I was completely sucked in, checking it first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. No wonder I couldn’t sleep. All that information was swirling around in my brain, and getting quiet was impossible.
I’m a big believer in feeding your spirit, but somehow I let all my obligations fill the void of really looking at what’s been going on with me. I’ve felt anxious and fidgety lately. I spend my free time looking for new cities to live in (hello, Portland), or obsessing over my fall capsule wardrobe project. And those things can be fun, in the right context. But not when you’re clearly trying to avoid something important. And for me, it’s my health. My fibromyalgia symptoms have worsened recently, and I haven’t wanted to face it. I’ve taken on way too many commitments, which have been great opportunities for my advocacy work, but bad for my health.
I am exhausted. From the pain. From the lack of energy. From the inability to fully use my body.
Disconnecting from social media was a fairly easy strategy to start with, but I’m going to need to do a lot more than that to get well. I’ve finally made an appointment with a rheumatologist to see what she might offer in terms of answers and potential solutions to my condition. But if I’ve learned anything over the last few years, it’s that I have to advocate for my own health. I have to do the research and be open to trying different modalities for healing. And with Mercury in retrograde this month, what better time to reflect on my life choices and take stock of what is and isn’t working anymore.
I don’t intend to make any big decisions right now, other than slowing down my pace, and making time for more rest and self-care. That includes things like:
I tend to be a real perfectionist, so I might need add one more thing to that list: Let go of the idea that I will do these things consistently and perfectly.
I’d like to be blogging more, but if you don’t see a post for a while, just assume I’m sleeping, or reading a book, or cooking a healthy meal for my husband and I.
Until next time,