7 Things I love About Being a Confident Fat Chick

First things first.Three years ago I could not have imagined writing this. But all my self-lovin’ work has paid off and I can actually see the good in my body now.

one

When I wear a fabulous, over the top outfit, people pay me compliments, and never mention my size or weight. It’s as though my confidence puts them at ease. And that’s a win for fatties everywhere!

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two

Hanging out with other confident fat chicks is so fun! We get each other’s jokes and share tips on how to prevent chub rub whilst soaking in a hot tub.

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three

Fat chicks give the best hugs. All that soft flesh feels like being in the womb. Seriously.

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four

I take up space. No matter where I am, my body is unapologetically present and proud.

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five

When I’m in yoga class, I love to see the expression of my teacher and other students as my flexible body holds  challenging poses. I’m unintentionally teaching women that you can be active at any size.

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six

You’ll never hear me complaining about being on a diet, because duh, I don’t do those anymore.

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seven

I use my hard earned confidence to help other women begin to embrace themselves, no matter what size they are.

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I send you love, light, and encouragement as you travel the road of self-acceptance!

xo

The Right to Take up Space Part II

My last post was about how as women we’ve been taught to make ourselves small and invisible in the world. This post is about how to stop hiding and take up as much space as you fucking well please.

There are many ways to take up space in a patriarchal society. Here are some suggestions:

  1. When on a first date, don’t take tiny bites of your undressed salad. Instead, eat the food you want to eat and in the portion sizes you desire. Eat as if you were hanging with your girlfriends at a slumber party. If your date comments on your appetite, ask if they’re going to finish that last bite of steak, and then pluck it off their plate, and into your mouth. Don’t forget to flash a huge smile before asking for the dessert menu!

eating cake2. Use all your big words and your f bombs whenever you want to, especially in settings where men tend to dominate the space. And don’t think of apologizing for one minute.

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3. Don’t try to hide your intelligence because your worried people will call you a show off. If others can’t handle it, it’s because they’re insecure. Or stupid. And really, who needs stupid friends?

4..Sit on the train, plane, or bus with multiple bags and take up lots of seats. Only make space for another woman or an elderly person who needs to sit down.

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Ok, she is getting a pedicure. I love it!

5. Wear whatever the fuck you want. Fuck flattering. You’re gorgeous and a role model for others.

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6. Stop dieting. Stop thinking about dieting. Eat what feels good to you and your body. If that means you eat ice cream every night, then so be it!

7.. Don’t tolerate sexual harassment. The next time you get cat called, shout “heel! good boy” at the offending fool.

cat calling8.. Encourage your daughters, nieces, and all the young girls in your life to focus on their own interests. Tell them to raise their hands during class and to run for student government. Never scold them with “that’s not ladylike.” Teach the boys in your life to respect girls and women and to make space, not always take space.

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9. Revel in your feminine power. Women bring balance into the world. Tap into your inner goddess.

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10. Say what’s on your mind, even if it’s hard. Let others be uncomfortable for once. Besides, passive aggression is for douche bags.

11.  Love yourself without measure!

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What are some other ways that you like to take up space? Leave your suggestions in the comments.

In solidarity,

Pia

The Right to Take up Space Part I

I have the right to take up space. I have the right to spread out and make myself visible. And at 5′-8″ and 230 pounds, you’d think it would be easy.

But it’s not.

Women have been taught to make themselves small and invisible in a myriad of ways. These are just some of the ways in which we are encouraged not to take up space.

  1. Be thin and shut up.
  2. Don’t be too loud or vulgar — it’s not feminine.
  3. Think before you speak. You might offend someone.
  4. Don’t be too smart or no man will like you.
  5. Don’t be too aggressive or you’ll be perceived as a bitch. 
  6. Look at these ads with thin models and use all your energy to try to look like them. You never will, but keep trying anyway. That way you don’t have the energy to engage in conversations about the oppression you are experiencing.
  7. Don’t be too emotional if you want to be successful in business, because people will think you can’t handle the job.
  8. Wear clothes that you find uncomfortable and restrictive so you can reinforce the idea that your worth is measured by how you appear to others.
  9. Tell your daughters it’s their fault when they are sexually assaulted or get unwanted attention from men.
  10. When you’re sitting on an airplane, bus or train, keep your arms and legs crossed, being sure not to demand any space.

men taking up space

I watched this amazing poetry performance by Lily Myers, and it resonated with me very deeply. Let me know what you think.

The next post will be about how you can start taking up as much space as you fucking well please. 

How have you been taught not to take up space?  Leave your comments below.

In solidarity,

Pia

Mercury is in Retrograde — And Just in Time

mercury-retrograde-signHave you been feeling rundown? Yeah, me too. It turns out that Mercury is in retrograde from October 4-25. Which basically means it’s a bad time to make big decisions or take too much on. Almost two weeks ago, I decided I need a break from social media. Keeping up with Facebook, Twitter and Instagram just got to be too much. I was completely sucked in, checking it first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. No wonder I couldn’t sleep. All that information was swirling around in my brain, and getting quiet was impossible.

I’m a big believer in feeding your spirit, but somehow I let all my obligations fill the void of really looking at what’s been going on with me. I’ve felt anxious and fidgety lately. I spend my free time looking for new cities to live in (hello, Portland), or obsessing over my fall capsule wardrobe project. And those things can be fun, in the right context. But not when you’re clearly trying to avoid something important. And for me, it’s my health. My fibromyalgia symptoms have worsened recently, and I haven’t wanted to face it. I’ve taken on way too many commitments, which have been great opportunities for my advocacy work, but bad for my health.

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I am exhausted. From the pain. From the lack of energy. From the inability to fully use my body.

Disconnecting from social media was a fairly easy strategy to start with, but I’m going to need to do a lot more than that to get well. I’ve finally made an appointment with a rheumatologist to see what she might offer in terms of answers and potential solutions to my condition. But if I’ve learned anything over the last few years, it’s that I have to advocate for my own health. I have to do the research and be open to trying different modalities for healing. And with Mercury in retrograde this month, what better time to reflect on my life choices and take stock of what is and isn’t working anymore.

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I don’t intend to make any big decisions right now, other than slowing down my pace, and making time for more rest and self-care. That includes things like:

  1. Going to bed earlier
  2. Eating better (gotta check that sugar addiction)
  3. Continuing my yoga practice
  4. Saying “no” more
  5. Meditating

I tend to be a real perfectionist, so I might need add one more thing to that list: Let go of  the idea that I will do these things consistently and perfectly. 

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I’d like to be blogging more, but if you don’t see a post for a while, just assume I’m sleeping, or reading a book, or cooking a healthy meal for my husband and I.

Until next time,

Pia